Sex and the City Man

He was quite promising to begin with. I’d been very naughty and went to an event run by a rival to Élan. (I was duly phoned up and told off). This rather good looking guy was perched on a stool at the bar. We decided he looked like the big shot business man in Sex And The City who went out with Samantha for a while. I saw him again at another do the following week. This time he asked me out. I wondered if things were looking up in my life- I should have known better.

Mr Keen

A very promising beginning. I went on a course and he was smiling across the room at me all day. I didn’t take a lot of notice. Married men do that all the time. And I was busy chatting to everyone that I hadn’t seen for a long time. But at the end of the day he flipped a note onto my desk.

‘You’re gorgeous. Would you like to meet for a drink?’

Twelve Contender Boatman

I met Twelve Contender Boatman through Singles for Sloanes. In Sloane Square, naturally. He very quickly tells me that he is semi- retired (an accountant) and that he is searching for a companion to travel round the Alps this winter with him. In his spanking new four wheel drive Beamer, staying in chalets and skiing. Doesn’t sound too bad a life. I wonder if the dull accountant talk is worth it. Then he tells me that he has a 38 foot boat in Poole (where his other house is) and that he has just sailed to France for a week in it. Mmm I thinks to myself (it's not the first time I’ve impersonated Sherlock) – he didn’t sail that on his own.

Élan for Elegant Evenings

I was being really good about my resolution so I also joined a singles outfit, holding what were grandly described as parties for professional people. Some nice venues, places I wanted to go to, though with a pretty huge mark up when you looked at the cost of the set menu. It was run by a disreputable looking Jewish guy. He didn't look the part at all. Scruffy with a huge paunch. One compensation he did have a good line in gossip.

Singles for Sloanes

2012 was supposed to be the year when it all happened. Do you go out and look for happiness or do you wait for it to come and find you?  If you don’t make an effort then life might pass you by.  Though it is becoming increasingly evident that the route to happiness is not via the male sex.

January 1^st I joined the Sloane Dating agency. New Year resolution accomplished. Well done Daisy. They sounded up-market. The lady who came to see me was certainly very posh. And she assured me that he wouldn’t have any trouble finding me men. Well I suppose it depends what you classify as men.

Grumbles from Grenada

Well I still don’t seem to have worked out how to propitiate the rain god. The weather hasn’t been great here in Grenada. The red flag is wafting in the wind still as I speak. But I’ve had enough sun to get a tan. Though no-one will see my strap marks, as its winter and we all have loads of clothes on and there isn’t anyone around at the moment to see me with my clothes off.

The hotel is still nice too but I’m not sure who rates highest on the scale of importance, the staff or the guests. I’m only here for a week and so far we’ve had the staff children’s party all over the beach and the staff dinner party so we all had to eat fast and early and the cooperate do in the beach restaurant, so we couldn’t use it at all. We’ve also had no hot water for two nights. Burst pipe. I’ve just washed my hair in some coppery coloured liquid coming out of the tap at 2 cm a minute. I am off to dry it and see if I’ve now got auburn highlights.